The Problem with Having the Virtual World in One Hand and Someones Heart in the Other
This is a case of when you’re either in a relationship or talking to someone, but are communicating with other people, particularly through social media. And by talking to other people, I mean you like their pictures, you’re commenting on things, and interacting with individuals that are not your significant other. Is there a problem here or not?
In the title asking whether you’re dating your phone or a person, this is in reference to how we’re so glued to our phones and what’s going on within them, than what’s going on right in front of us. I only mention this because this happened to me the other day. I was with someone, we were hanging out and having a good time and then my phone went off and without hesitation I reached for it. This has happened multiple times. But this time, this someone I was with basically called me out, asking why I always check my phone, or snapping people back automatically, and why is it so important? And like any normal person, I automatically got defensive and said “I SO did not look at my phone all the time.” Which is SO not true. I just didn’t realize or want to admit how much I really do it. I never used to be this person. I was the person that didn’t get texting for the first few years of having a phone and was staunchly against having a touch screen phone for myself. I was that person who said how “I liked to be able to feel the buttons.” I was weird, ok? Sorry that’s a typo, am weird. But now I’m this person that checks multiple social media platforms multiple times a day. And to the point that I’ll look at my phone thinking that it buzzed, when it actually didn’t. Yea, I’d say that’s a problem. But the other problem of this budding addiction to my phone and social media is the what. And not just for me, but also for those like me who check their phone constantly. What are we really doing on our phones?
Reasons Why We Give Likes on Instagram
Correct me if I’m wrong, and I do tend to be wrong a lot, but I find that the one social media platform that has become a great indicator for whether someone likes you and not necessarily the post itself is Instagram. There’s this common acknowledgment of what it could mean when some stranger likes multiple posts on your Instagram feed. They are interested. Some, however, can like the contents of the picture or even its caption, but the times where there are multiple likes at one time means they dig you. And why not, you’re pretty cool. I won’t deny that I’ve definitely liked a handful of someone’s recent pictures in an effort to put myself out there. Or even started following someone that I thought was cute. HOWEVER, I have not done this a lot, and the times I have the person either lived in Russia or I realized they were gay. Oh well. But this thing where people like a bunch of your pictures or add you out of the blue may have something to do with their interest in you and not your content. But there are times where random likes by random people could absolutely be as innocent as you may think. But herein lies the difficulty with dating and social media. Like the other day when I got called out for looking at my phone, the someone I was with had no idea what I was doing on there. They had no clue if I was liking a bunch of random guys’ pictures, or direct messaging with someone or replying to some guys’ snap. I can see how being on your phone when you’re with someone, especially if you’re checking it all the time, can come off as strange. Or in other words, like you’re cheating.
It’s not that I don’t Trust You, I Don’t Trust Your Phone
This is also the other problem of contacting strangers through social media when you’re with someone, what is considered cheating? It’s also difficult today to date because you don’t want to be that person that defines things too quickly, or be too clingy, or look like you’re too into them. You want to be the right amount of confident and cool that you’re self-assured enough to know that you’re fine on your own, but you know it would be nice to have someone at the end of the day. But don’t show them that you care too much or you might scare them away. But you need to show you care somewhat so that you end up being the only one they’re talking to. Do you know what I mean? Or is this just me? And that’s not even including the mixed messages within the virtual world of social media.
If you’re with someone, and I mean you are really with someone, not this whole talking to multiple guys/girls on Tinder or going out on multiple dates, hoping for them to call or text you back nonsense, I mean either in or about to get into a relationship, do not like random people’s things. Delete those random guys/girls numbers off of your phone. Unfriend them on Snapchat. Disconnect from whoever you may have been with or was with because you’re not with them anymore. You’re with someone else, and I can tell you for a fact, they are always going to be better than the person you “could have had,” because this person is here and they’re here for you. I know, we all want to be liked, but isn’t it better to have someone who likes you in person rather than all of your posts on Instagram? It’s just something to think about, and this has been something that I’ve been pondering for a while now. Did I put it into words properly? Not sure, but like and follow me so I know I did good job.